Warning- Powered Paragliding can be addictive and have serious implications.
Be careful of AIDS - Aviation Induced Divorce Syndrome.
After every flight, Qantas
pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which conveys to the mechanics
problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair
or correction. The engineers read and correct the problem, and then respond
in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken,
and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let
it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here
are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as submitted
by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By
the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
(P = The problem logged by
the pilot)
(S = The solution and action
taken by the engineers)
P: Left inside main tire almost
needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside
main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land
very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed
on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in
cockpit.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold
mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent..
S: Cannot reproduce problem
on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right
main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably
loud.
S: DME volume set to more
believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle
levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there
for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative
in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing
after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten
up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar
with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under
instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
| Ohio Powered Paragliding
20683 Hull Prairie Road Bowling Green, OH 43402 |
Phone: 419-823-1270
E-Mail: brucebrown@wcnet.org |